"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
