I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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