The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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