I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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