Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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