Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
