life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
