Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
