he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
