I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He shit in the fireplace
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
