Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
