Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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