yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
