So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
