i don't like sucking hair
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
