You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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