I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
