I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
