And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
