Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
