I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You are the jesus of drinking
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
