I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
