my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
