Tell her she can't have a vagina
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
