Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Terrible idea I love it
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
