He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
