Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
