You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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