The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
