TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
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