I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
