Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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