he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Randomize
