Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My feet surprised me
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
