Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
