a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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