did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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