well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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