I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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