Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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