I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
