you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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