I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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