I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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