Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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