even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
