I met the friendliest cop last night
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
