Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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