Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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