Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
